Boys, this is a lesson I want to impart to you early, not because it is the single most important, but more that it will be one of the first ones you will have the opportunity to try out on your own. It is a lesson I sometimes wish I was better at following. It is important because the friendships you forge will be some of the strongest threads woven into the tapestry of your life whether they build you up or tear you down.
Some of the best memories of my life, not counting you two or your mom, were made with close friends. Few things will blaze the path you will follow in life like the company you keep and the people you call friends. Many people will cross your path, but these few will walk it with you. The ones who do are to be treasured like priceless gifts.
There will be times that you may take those friendships for granted. Try not to do that, but if you do, apologize quickly and sincerely. These relationships will be too valuable to let fade away from neglect. You won't always see things the same way, but learn from them, respect their views, and value the honesty that allows you to disagree without malice.
Don't choose temporary bliss over the solid loyalty and love that comes from these relationships. Bliss will fade with time, but true friends will be there your entire life. I have been blessed with a few of these type of friends. Deep water friends who know you inside and out and love you anyway. I have not always done right by them, but that has been my shortcoming, not theirs.
At the time of this writing, you haven't met him yet, but my best friend growing up through high school was Alan. You couldn't have asked for a better young man to have as a friend. There are so many great memories that we shared growing up that I couldn't possibly tell you all of them. I also don't want you to get any ideas, so you'll just have to wait until you're grown to hear them! Alan was always willing to walk with me, wherever we decided to go. I treasure that relationship but I made an awful choice many years ago. I chose a young woman over Alan. It was one of the worst decisions I have ever made, and there have been a few bad decisions to choose from in my life. It broke our friendship for a long time. We fell out of touch and I regretted it every day. When your mother and I got married, Alan and his wife Vicky came to our reception in Atlanta. I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him again. I can tell you that after all that time and the mistakes of the past, Alan was willing to walk with me one more time as I started life with your mother. It was the best wedding gift he could have ever offered. I pray you boys have friends in your life as true as Alan Johnson.
I also pray that you have friends as gentle-hearted and selfless as Jay Force. I did not know Jay as a boy, but I know that he is a strong man. Jay is the kind of friend that will help you keep your moral compass, but always with a twinkle of the mischievous in his eye. Jay is the kind of friend who always chooses his family and friends over himself. He would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. I strive to be that kind of friend. I want you to reach for that as well. While it sometimes gets him in trouble, Jay leads with his heart and God has blessed him for his compassion, love, and humility. If you meet a friend like Jay, hold on to that friendship. It's a keeper.
When you meet Kersen, you will learn what the definition of loyalty truly looks like. I've been privileged to call Kersen a friend since we were 12 years old. Through thick and thin, Kersen has always been there. We tease and we joke with each other mercilessly, but you could not find a man who would be at your side faster than Kersen if you were in trouble or just needed a friend. He has a good heart and a sharp mind. A friend like Kersen will always keep you on your toes, but you know he is the most solid of foundations. Just remember to never say a nice word about the Yankees in his presence. That goes double for Jay too, come to think of it.
Lastly, boys, I want you not only to recognize good friends like the men I told you about in your own lives, but I also want you to take those qualities as your own. You'll never regret it.
